Having a friend undergoing treatment for breast cancer is a sobering experience. A relationship that was once light-hearted and breezy interaction suddenly becomes full of ponderous meanings and terrible fears. If you are not experienced at being around people facing the diagnosis of cancer and its treatment, the changes and mindsets involved can be both frightening and threatening for you. Offering support in the lightest way possible, and making sure your friend knows you want to be involved in any way she needs you to be, is perhaps the best support any breast cancer patient can get.
Instructions
Helping Someone Who Has Breast Cancer
1. Let the patient approach the subject of cancer in her own way. You may want to know all the latest details of your loved one's treatment, but she may long to talk about more ordinary things. Listen more than you talk, and don't pretend you know how they feel because it's likely you don't because each cancer experience is different. If at all possible, find something to laugh about, whether it's in the medical experience itself or the goings-on surrounding the patient. Laughter is still the best medicine for everyone, regardless of condition. Let the breast cancer patient talk about her fears and negative thoughts. Don't just dismiss them with optimistic comments. These fears are real and pressing, and having them heard and appreciated is very helpful to a patient trying to get well again.
2. Help mow a lawn, do light housekeeping, or run to the supermarket for your friend while she recovers from treatment. Organize and cook a few meals in advance. Take over a carpooling day, or run to the pharmacy for medications. There are a million details that weigh on the mind of someone busy undergoing treatment, so being their hands and feet to get chores done is a huge help.
3. Volunteer to take over the communications chore. Those with cancer are sometimes too busy and too exhausted to keep all those around them informed. If you can be the phone tree for information, it releases the breast cancer patient from another duty, so they can concentrate on getting well.
4. Tailor your assistance to your intimacy level. You may not be at a comfort level with your friend to be involved in her household activities while she is undergoing treatment. You can still say you care with emails and cards, with thoughtful comforts like hobby or travel magazines, with healthy treats like fresh fruit, or specially-compiled CDs of calming music or positive affirmations. Gift certificates for manicures or massages are always appreciated, and such kindnesses are never forgotten.
5. Stay in contact. Even male friends of a breast cancer patient have a role to play in offering support. Having breast cancer is one of the greatest assaults on a woman's femininity, so thoughtful gifts that honor her femininity are always valued. A bouquet of simple flowers, a beautiful photo, or a simple bracelet tells the patient they are precious to you, and this can go a long way to making her feel whole again.
Tags: breast cancer, breast cancer patient, undergoing treatment, your friend, again Help, breast cancer, cancer patient
